Set in the silence of my room, in the heart of the big city, I write this. What has been a whirlwind of events that has transpired the past few days are beginning to fall into place, into what I can call a new life.
A few weeks back, I received a call from a company which is a dream for many in my league. I have been offered a job. It was overwhelming. I believe it was something given not merely by man but by some divine providence. The job has been going on in my mind for months, since I left my last job to do what I love the most – creating my own digital works of art. I desired to have a job that merges what my academic orientation was with my passion. The job was the very thing I prayed for.
When I broke the news to my parents, they were happy too. Although I know, at the back of their minds, they were sad – for the last chick was about to leave the nest and go into the forest to make its own living and try to survive. I can read my mother’s prayers in her eyes each time I look at her. It has also been a year that I was out of work so I had a great deal of time to be with my old folks.
In about a year I was with them, I learned so much more than all my learning at school combined. I saw how they laughed. I saw how they cry. I saw how strong they were, and I saw how weak they can get. Their age brought with them wisdom never found in anything so far in my life. They try their best to ready their children but they could only do so much.
My parents are not perfect. In fact, they are far from that. My mom had her share of failures and mistakes. My dad had a problem with loneliness and a lot of things more. For all those years we were with him, he was always silent. And now, that everyone has flown out of the house to build their own lives, it was too late for him to realize how absent emotionally he was in the lives of his children. They were never perfect. But they were the best I could ever wish for.
I saw their battle with age. I often find my mom mixing a hair-dye powder in a cup of warm water. Later on, they would be busy dyeing each other’s hair – much more of a bonding time.
My dad was often in rage in dealing with memory loss. He was ill-tempered and impatient. He kept pushing that he has this Alzheimer’s disease. All the doctors think otherwise. So do I.
It came to a point that my dad’s problems affected his work. He will be retiring in about eight months as of this writing. He is in a retiring age since he started to work only later in his life. He was becoming a nuisance in the office. My mom had a call from his supervisor so I went to accompany her. The problem was resolved with my mom promising to take care of my dad so as not to let him get bored during office hours. She kept trying to see my dad in the office during lunch just so he would have someone to talk to.
It was there that I saw my mom’s strength. She has been carrying this family so much over the years, ever since we were kids. She was strong. Even until now that she needs someone to be strong for her.
It broke my heart to leave them at home. But then again, I am my own self. I should live a life of my own. I don’t take away the possibility of living again in my parents’ house someday. But for now, I have to live my life. A window has been opened and the sun seems shining bright outside.
Where I came from, there were birds and a lot of it chirping when you wake up. My room had a little sun roof, just enough to warm me up as the sun rises. My dad is an agriculturist and we have lots of greens in the front and side lawns. We have orchids of red, purple, yellow and white among many others. Fruit and hardwood trees were growing by the day. The soft morning breeze welcomes you with sweetness.
Where I am now, the sound of cars and busy streets wake you. The children rushing early to school are the sight. Skyscrapers graze the skies as the night turns to day. The big city never sleeps. It never pauses for breeze nor does it keep silent for a minute or two to hear the birds sing. It goes on like forever.
Slowly, things start to sink in, falling into place as I said. Many say you don’t get everything you want. True enough. The very reason why we have priorities – we decide depending on the most important things to us. Slowly and unknowingly at times, we are shaped by our priorities. We become what we think we are.
I have a few good reasons why I decided to grab this job that brought with it the new life. First, I want to save for a family I hope to have someday or in the near future. I hope to prepare well to be able to provide well for them. Another reason is, if in case I don’t stay too long on this job, at least I get to have their name in my resume. Well, practically speaking, their name in my records would like be a shining badge in my chest.
For now, the night is getting old and a new day is waiting for me a few ticks in the clock from now. The air is getting cooler and the bed lies softly as the view drowses me well. The battle is about to unfold. Wish me luck.
