I arrived home in Davao last December 25, 2008. I was very excited to go around again the city that I call home. Life here is so simple, basic. This is the life I have known and grown up with.
Well, enough has been said on how new things are for me in the big city. Even after six months, I still have the thoughts of life back here.
The past few months has been a run run. Life was so fast. I got the job that I asked for – probably the best that I can ever have. Still, I realized how independence, good paying job and personal career rewards could not compensate for the absence of family and loved one.
I went embracing my new life with the faith that God has set this path for me. However, somewhere along the way, I lost my sight of the road. I started to get too absorbed on my job – meetings, deadlines, all went in a rumble. To me, the way to do this is keep myself as organized and as well-planned as possible.
Apparently, that was not what God planned for me. With that attitude inside me, I was bringing myself away from the life that I believe God was trying to lead me to. I was living my own life – I plan my itinerary, I see to it that things go my way. The reality is – it doesn’t always follow as you say so.
Yesterday, I was with my high school friends enjoying the day at the white sand beach. Later in the afternoon, I had an accident. I dived under a bamboo line when I hit my forehead with a sharp coral. My head was liked axed in the middle. For sure, the coral was sharp enough to cut me straight in the middle of my forehead and rough enough to scratch almost all the surface of my nose. Yikes!
I really didn’t see that coming. Inside my head, I was thinking “what a great ending for a well awaited vacation”. My heart was devastated, not to mention I am still aching from my girlfriend’s absence. I was about to fly back to Makati this afternoon but I have to go back to the doctor for the stitches to be removed five days after. I re-booked for January 10 then after my bosses’ approvals.
What I realized now is how one should be flexible in living one’s life. But above it, I as well saw again how humans tend to put in their on hand their lives, forgetting that they are simply beings created by someone much more Supreme than they.
It’s difficult to light a candle when everyone seem to blow the light off. Keeping it well lit always begins by going to church again. Then, keeping a candle lit requires everyday sacrifice, a daily renewal of self with your Creator.
This is not an easy task. Yet, no easy task rewards much. In here lies the meaning of life for me. In this thought, I see how God puzzles things – circumstances, conditions, environment all in fulfilling His great picture.
Living in the big city, I realized this is not always the case for people. To many, God is something revered by others. To some, God does not exist. This is how God works with people – he never forces anyone to believe in Him.
This may be what lies in front of me – keeping your candle lit in a cruel, Godless world. Sometimes, we are so tied up with the thought of offending others with our beliefs. So we succumb to the ways of the world to blend in. After a while, it feels good. You feel so normal and natural. Before you know it, you are headed for disaster. It hits you point blank, right between your eyes… very much like mine, only less literal 
.
A lot of things that happen in our lives, we do not understand. Sometimes, when we don’t get any explanation, we try to make our own. We rationalize things. We don’t wait for revelations to unfold, we create our own.
This is where I believe I have forgotten to keep in mind – to sometimes let things unfold. I was impatient and persistent. Behind that, I was afraid I do not like the outcome of things, so I do things my way. Little do I know that destruction lies ahead.
I often close my posts with a conclusion, to simply wrap things up before closing a post. This time, I guess leaving it hanging will be alright. Yep, wrapping up a post for me is part of trying to rationalize my thoughts when in fact, a lot of your thoughts are there for you to think over for a lifetime. Life is not black or white. It has colors in between. The more you try to place things as either black or white takes away the colors of life. I guess it’s a choice to see the colors in between…
But I really feel it’s just another Saturday for me. Maybe I started it a bit wrong. I got upset when I learned about how my girlfriend is being tasked in her new role on the job. Well, I really don’t have much capacity to act on it. It is all in her hands.
